Thursday, January 9, 2014

Does Online Dating Work?

For cute, smart ladies, online dating isn't always a good option.  To me, online dating is for mediocre matches, and if you consider yourself exceptional, you're already at a disadvantage.  Thus is my dilemma around online dating.


From the way you describe yourself to the photographs you post, you're probably thinking... "I have all of these great attributes about myself, I don't have to over-sell it" right?  Well, that doesn't always translate well to the online community.  Personally, I find myself to be "overqualified" for online dating.  8 years ago, it was the perfect way to connect with people I might have been interested in dating, but now... I've come too far.  My career is too advanced, my interests are too sophisticated, my grammar is too precise. 


The types of profiles I see and am attracted to usually say things like: "I love to travel and experience new things..."  Now, that sounds like an interesting person right?  Yes!  Except for the fact that when I actually start speaking with them, they've only started to travel, and it's because they went to Las Vegas this year for their friend's bachelor party. 


As someone who has been traveling on my own since the age of 13, it's very difficult for me to wrap my head around a grown man of say 35 or 40 years old, who has only been within a 500 mile radius of where they grew up.  We would never work.   We would never work because there'd be too many things that are core to who I am, that he would have to learn. 


I don't want to harp on the fact that well traveled means something different to many of the men I meet online, without speaking to the core of why online dating does not really work for cute, smart women. 


In my experience, the men I'm most attracted to (by sheer profile alone) declare that they want someone intelligent, but the moment you say actually show your intelligence, they back off.   Maybe it's the same issue as the well traveled definition, where these guys don't actually know what intelligence is and when I show that I am more intelligent than what they were looking for, it becomes a problem. 


Ultimately, I think online dating does not work for the cute, smart, single lady because we tend to gravitate toward actual relationships and away from hook ups, and with the evolution of online dating and the access of computers and internet connected devices to the masses, it's become the norm that most guys putting out feelers online are not really looking for the long term relationships.  This gives rise to apps such as Tinder which are so superficial, that it should have just been called "booty calls."

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